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harmony_sky

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rabbit hole

[27 Jul 2012|09:21am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

yes please keep yelling at your 10 month old, then tell me again how YOUR therapist hates me because youve told her all i ever do is yell at you. yes i will go to the store for you to get YOU ciggs even though i just had surgery on my shoulder on tuesday. also please keep treating me like shit and making me cry, then making me out to look like the bad one to mom. i also appreciated getting called an unappreciative uncaring bitch cuz i asked for no help. i was in the bathroom trying to put on a clean dress, my mom barged in and yanked the back of it up and jerked my shoulder. yes i screamed in pain and told you not to touch me. telling me youd rather not help me at all AFTER causing me pain, but im the jerk. thanks a lot.

4 fell down the rabbit hole

[11 Apr 2012|06:04pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I'm in a really bad fucking mood. Why? All because I was told that I can not give my opinions on my niece, because I'm not a parent. Just because I'm not a parent, doesn't mean I don't have any fucking opinions. She used to judge other peoples children all the time before her own kid was born. Now I'm not allowed to ever babysit for alone, because 'she doesn't trust me' and it's *my* fault she can't get a job, because 'she doesn't trust day cares' so she won't leave her kid in one. I don't know how that's my fault, especially considering she lays in bed all day doing nothing and is mad that the State is trying to make her work. God help me that this year goes by fast, and I'm able to move out soon. I don't know how much more of her shit I can handle, and I'm serious. I'm at the point that I want to shake her, and scream in her face, and tell her what a horrible fucking person she is, but I won't. 

4 fell down the rabbit hole

[05 Apr 2012|08:49pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

 
I figured it was about time that I upload a full body shot, instead of just a close up face shot. Was taken at the Zoo today. I like and don't like this photo, but it's just me wishing I was thinner than I am, but I'm trying to work on that, which will come soon enough. I'm also trying to work on my tan, but I have pretty much all summer to do that here. 

1 fell down the rabbit hole

[02 Apr 2012|09:16pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

It's hard to believe, but my sister went most of the day w/o yelling at her baby, and went all day w/o being a bitch to me, and my mom went all day w/o being a bitch to me. I didn't get put down once today, and *gasp* it was actually pleasant to be around them for once.  Going to Church on Sunday for Easter, bleaching/dying my hair blonde for Church to shut my mom up, but I'm okay with this, for the fact that I'm going back to pink next week. Supposed to go shopping tomorrow to get a new dress for Church, if tomorrow is anything like today was, it should be quite lovely. Crossing my fingers and hoping that it is. 

rabbit hole

[01 Apr 2012|05:07pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I saw 21 Jump Street today, fuckin amazing movie. Gooooo see it. I want to see it again. 

2 fell down the rabbit hole

[30 Mar 2012|03:28pm]
[ mood | calm ]


Taken earlier today. Miss my pink hair, but this blue is growing on me. Figured it was time for a new pic. 

rabbit hole

[21 Mar 2012|10:47am]
[ mood | blah ]

This morning my sister paid me $50 to clean her car. Easy $50 bucks for me. It really makes me wonder how she's going to be when her child gets older. She swears she's OCD about 'having a clean house' yet she paid someone $100 to come clean her room for her, paid me $50 to clean her car for her, won't do dishes, won't do her own laundry herself, won't even do her kids laundry for her. She got yelled at by her kids Dr. yesterday, because her baby is now 6 months old and she hasn't been feeding her baby food yet, just feeding her formula. She acts like she's an expert when it comes to everything baby, yet she got slapped in the face yesterday with the realiziation that just maybe she doesn't. She has got to seriously be 1 of the stupidest people I know. Dr's appt tomorrow for my shoulder. It feels like it's dislocated, but I don't know for sure. Just tired of being in pain, tired of being treated like crap daily. Can't wait to move. Blahhhhhhhhh. 

3 fell down the rabbit hole

[13 Mar 2012|09:35pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Fuck today. Worst damn birthday, ever. 

2 fell down the rabbit hole

[07 Mar 2012|07:35pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Still tryin to figure out how goin to the Mall on a mission for a new pair of Jeans, turns in to a search for a pair of Shorts. Got the shorts I wanted, but didn't get any Jeans, go figure. Forgot how sexy Josh Hartnett was, until watching Lucky Number Slevin.  Don't have much more to report on. Sick of the rain, the boyfriend front is there, mom and sister are the same idiots as usual. 

2 fell down the rabbit hole

[02 Mar 2012|08:54pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

This morning I woke up and had a panic attack for absolutely no reason. Went to PT, but didn't want to. It rained all day which matched my morning mood. Jon and I talked, and talked awhile. Talked a lot, got a lot figured out. Worked a lot out. Things are good, things are back to normal. We're back together, or should I say we never broke up, just took a 'break'. Definitely lifted my mood. Fixed the bad mood I've been in since November or December, on that particular front. Not looking forward to turning 29 in 10 or so days, but it's okay, because I'm looking forward to what the new months have for us. 

2 fell down the rabbit hole

[28 Feb 2012|09:11pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Getting a migraine at 9 pm from my sister SCREAMING at my mom is the way I want to top off my night. She's been asking my mom since 6, if she could wash the dishes so my sister could give her kid a bath. My mom said no, and for her to do it herself. She flat out refused, then SCREAMED at my mom saying she hates her daughter, and doesn't care about her daughter, and was asked nicely to wash the dishes so she could give her daughter a bath. My sister is just a fucking lazy bitch who refuses to wash the dishes period. If she wants to give her daughter a bath that badly, she can learn to wash dishes herself. All this after crying ALL weekend from getting told all weekend how stupid I am, and how mean and rude I am. and how hateful I am. I haven't been feeling good the past few days, found out today it's because I have a bladder infection. After being out all day, without even wanting too, all I wanted to do was come home and take a Percocet, and lay down. I put on Breaking Dawn, and apparently fell asleep, only to be woken up to be told to go in to the kitchen and search for something that I bought weeks ago. I didn't get up right away, and was told I was being rude and lazy and just simply didn't care. I'm going to lay down and watch The Rosa Parks Story and hopefully get some more sleep. I have pt in the morning which I really don't want to go to, but I will. When I get home tomorrow I will catch up on journals, as I know I've been slacking lately, and I'm sorry. I'm grateful that you guys have been patient with me though. You are all awesome and you all rock my world. 

rabbit hole

Family History [22 Feb 2012|11:46am]
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?hl=en&gbv=2&gs_sm=13&gs_upl=2094l11860l0l15219l28l28l0l9l9l1l234l2935l2.12.5l19l0&q=cache:6F03wpdCSKsJ:http://www.deleonhandbook.com/De_Leon_Handbook/Higginbothams.html+higginbotham-bartlett+lumber&ct=clnk

A little family history that my mom sent me in an email. Will Williams was her grandfather, or great-grandfather, not sure. 

2 fell down the rabbit hole

[20 Feb 2012|11:36am]
It must be nice having "problems" at 29, which consist of, if you're going to receive enough money from your tax return to be able to afford to go on a vacation, when you just went on 1 a month ago, and if you're parents are going to find out you've started smoking. You make me real fucking sick. You throw your "problems" in my face, like I'm supposed to care. I, on the other hand, have to go day to day not knowing if my sister will snap and kill me, or my mom will snap and kick me out for good. Must be nice to live with your mom and dad at 29, and work and have them lease your car for you, or pay your insurance, or your cell phone bill, or gas for your car, when YOU HAVE A JOB. All I get is Social Security, because I'm not able to work currently, and I'm still expected to pay my cell phone, and pay rent. You really fucking disgust me. 

4 fell down the rabbit hole

[17 Feb 2012|09:37pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I have absolutely not been this happy since last year. I came in to my room this morning from taking a shower, and noticed I had a couple texts. I saw they were from Jon, and was absolutely terrified to read them. I did though, and it was the best thing I've done all year, so far. I have been talking to him all day, and this feeling is amazing. I am falling in love with him all over again, and I just can't explain it. We talked about things, talked about why we broke up, and what caused us to break up. We're not back together just *yet* but it's so close I can almost grab on to it. I have loved this boy for 16 years now. I was soooooooo absolutely scared that I had lost him for good, but I haven't. I'm so happy I want to just jump around and dance around, and anything else I can do. 

rabbit hole

[08 Feb 2012|11:37am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

A big fuck you to my mom, and to my sister, and to this day. 

rabbit hole

[30 Jan 2012|11:33pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend again the past few days. I've even been laying kind of low on Facebook the past few days. Not much new to report. Spent awhile today playing with the baby and we both enjoyed it. It was a fairly screaming free day, and it was nice. I have no plans for tomorrow, as of yet. Wednesday I have PT in the morning, then babysitting my niece on Wednesday night so my sister can go out on a date or something. She aint paying me, but the cable she's got is different than mine for the moment, and she gets free HBO or Showtime for like another month, and she said I can hang out in her room and watch TV or a movie if I want. I think it'd be fun to snuggle with the baby and watch a movie. idk.  The pain meds I'm back on are making me insanely itch tonight, and I'm waiting for the Benadryl to kick in, before I go to bed miserable. Going to catch up on Journals, and hopefully by that time the Benadryl will have kicked in and I will be able to sleep, so goodnight. 

2 fell down the rabbit hole

[28 Jan 2012|08:46pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Me to my sister: I have a Dr's appt with my regular Dr on Monday, and therapy again on Wednesday.

Sister: For your shoulder? 

Me: Yes, for 6 weeks. If it helps at all, then my surgery will be postponed for a while. If not, then I'll have to have surgery shortly after.

Sister: Oh boy, I hope it can wait until the baby is a bit older, so I don't have to watch her 24/7

Please, oh please don't let my having to have surgery be a fucking inconvenience to you. I will try to have my surgery when it's good for you. 

>:o| 


4 fell down the rabbit hole

[27 Jan 2012|10:54am]
[ mood | calm ]

I was planning to write in this last night after my appt, but I was so sick I couldn't. I had a migraine and was nauseous on the bus and came home and took an imitrex hoping it'd help, but it didn't. I was in bed by 7:30 I felt so sick. Of course going to bed that early, I was up tossing and turning half the night. My appt went really well I guess. I really like the Dr, a lot more than the previous moron I saw. I applied to 2 or 3 schools this week so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I get in to at least one of them. Hoping to get back to the Gym next weekend, but not sure how it's gonna go with me being put back on weight restrictions with my stupid shoulder. Not lifting over 10 lbs is gonna be hard at the Gym, but I'll see what I can do, if anything. Back to Physical Therapy soon, yay. :(

 

rabbit hole

[25 Jan 2012|08:22pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Another Dr's appt tomorrow. Taking Vicodin soon because I'm in so much pain tonight. Hope it goes well tomorrow, we'll see though. All I want are answers. I hate new Dr's, it gives me anxiety. Will do a better update tomorrow after my appt. Goodnight. 

rabbit hole

[24 Jan 2012|01:23pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

Just when I fucking thought things were starting to get better between my mom and I, I was horribly mistaken. Her and my sister are trying to bully me in to getting a Flu shot. They're saying if I don't, and the baby gets the flu, she will die. My sister is threatening to have 15 different Dr's call and harass me, until I do. It's not my fault she is in the Hospital now, it's my sister's fault. My sister is the one who was sick. My sister is the one that failed to give her the proper meds. My mom is threatening to kick me out now if I don't get the flu shot. I haven't gotten it yet, because it makes me sick. Last time I got it, it made me pass out, why would I want to get it again? Guess I'm getting kicked out soon. 

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